


Villain and Hero: Spike

by Gigi



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Character Study, F/M, M/M, Multi, POV Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-27
Updated: 2011-10-27
Packaged: 2017-10-25 00:31:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gigi/pseuds/Gigi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike never fancied himself a hero. He just wasn't the kind. He was a villain through and through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Villain and Hero: Spike

**Author's Note:**

> Rating: Hard R.  
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
> For Prompt Seven: Witching Hour. Buffy or Angel (Both, spoilers for the last season of Buffy and for what ever season it was for Angel that it was during the last season of Buffy.)  
> Pairings: Giles/Mrs. Summers (past), Giles/Spike(hinted), Dru/Spike(past), Darla/Dru/Spike/Angelus(hinted/past), Buffy/Spike(past), Xander/Spike

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Before he was unmade to be remade he never thought himself a brave man, he was a fair and kind man but never a brave man. When he was remade into a vampire he found himself doing things to impress his Sire, he found himself trying to make himself over so that he would no longer be the love sick fool that had his heart broken. He might of went over the edge a little too far, he might of done things that humans would think of as crazy. He was re-raised on crazy, drank of it as it was mother's milk. Dru danced around in his mind and his heart.

He wanted to be something Angelus and Darla would be proud of, they were parents, they were lovers and teachers. Drusilla was his maker and unholy goddess, his princess, but he knew who he had to prove himself too. It hurt far too much when the family got torn apart. When Angelus was re-souled and Darla went to kneel at the Master's feet. Spike held tightly to Dru, he made sure that she was well taken care of.

He loved taking care of Dru, loved making her feel like the Princess she was. They did things to cause fear and terror in their pray. He tired rather hard to become just like Angelus, but there was still a part of him that couldn't reach that glory. It was like a part of him was still that stupid little man writing poems for some bint that didn't know he was alive. He saw it over and over, that part of him that loved far too strongly. That part of him that made him feel weak kneed and love lusted.

 

It was suppose to be a weakness, something to fight to over come.

Spike liked fighting, like losing himself in battle, of wits or fists, he was made for it now. Letting the blood lust over come him until there was nothing more then that red light that seemed to cover over everything. Fighting slayers were always the best, it made the battle worth more. Victory always the taste of the sweet blood that brought power into his body. Slayer blood was like a drug once you had it you wanted it again. Perhaps that was what lead him here.

He could never turn down the chance to take out a slayer, finding out about Buffy made him turn their car around and drive right to Sunnydale. He didn't know if he should call it a mistake or call it a new chapter in the ever fucked up book that was his life. His driven desire for the slayer turn into some kind of sick obsession like it always did with him. It turned into some kind of love that was lust driven. Dru had seen right through him.

Drusilla could see the whole world when she closed her eyes, she could tell you anything about anyone. Now if he closed his eyes and thought of her he could still seeing her dancing in circles nude in the rose garden under the pale light of the moon. In the moon light she was the goddess of death calling her pray to worship her. He worship his Goddess until he lost sight of the path. Until he came here.

The slayer had be the start of it, his driven lust for the blonde had taken him down a path that lead him to something greater. Something that he couldn't believe even now he was almost willing to give up to make sure that some how the boy lived. Spike never fancied himself a hero. He just wasn't the kind. He was a villain through and through.

~~xx~~

 

“I don't want you do this.”

The boy said his voice strong, trying to hide the fear that Spike knew as there. “There has to be another way.”

“There isn't.” That was the plain truth of it, there was no chance in hell that they would be able to come up with something better. Part of him wanted to take his lover and run for the hills, but the boy would never leave. Like Spike he was loyal and fucking brave. It didn't seem fair, if he had met the whelp earlier he would of changed him and had him forever. But no he was already changed, he changed himself, with the chip, with the soul he was a brand new vampire.

There were other reasons that Spike wasn't sure about, was he doing this because Buffy asked it of him. Was he doing this because it was the only way to stop the First? Was he doing this to give Dawn a chance to live and become an adult? He had seen enough Summers woman die, he didn't want to watch Bit die as well. He couldn't stand the sight of it.

It wasn't all Buffy's fault, Joyce played her part in making him fall in love with the family of strong willed women. He had always been a sucker for mothers, mothers loving their children, mother's defending their children. Mother's giving him a soft touch. She knew what he was yet she offered up her hot coco and smiles. He missed Joyce.

He and the Watcher talked at length about her. Spike could tell that old Rupert had a hard on for the woman. He fucking loved her. Not that they shared much time together. Spike knew that, he saw it when he was tied up in the watcher's living room. Joyce coming by just to talk to Giles, then disappearing for a few hours into the watcher's bed room. Spike never said one word about it to the kids.

He knew a secret when he saw one, at first he thought he would just save it for a moment when he wanted to black mail Giles, but he found out that he couldn't bring himself to do that to Joyce. In the end it had all been a fucking joke, they lost her. Spike wasn't even allowed to try to give comfort to her children. He shouldn't of wanted too, he shouldn't of needed to but it was important to honor Joyce.

That's how he ended up back at Rupert's hotel room, drinking themselves into a drunken state of forgetfulness. It didn't work and in the late afternoon they both went their own way. Maybe it was then when he noticed the boy. He needed looking after, needed someone who was strong. Spike voted for himself to do the job.

It wasn't easy getting the boy to trust him, it wasn't easy to get Xander to look at him, but once he had they fallen quickly into each other. Not in some romantic way, but in a comfortable way of fighting. They held a past together that was not easily forgotten and for some reason was a comfort to each other. It started out small, Spike did small things, a touch here or there to get the boy's attention to him. Spoke in slow easy words that he couldn't fuck up.

Xander seem to catch on very easily, but his life was fucked over as well. He had seen the hardships of the battle more times then once. Losing everything only to build back up and lose it again. Spike wasn't going to let him lose himself. The first time they kissed it was right after dusting a few vamps, both were edge up and over come by the heat of the battle.

It started with a kiss that soon followed Spike pressing Xander into a wall in an alley way, sucking on his tongue to taste him. They pressed together, their bodies knowing very well what they wanted. Both men came in their pants like school boys. Spike felt light headed and very much over protective of the whelp, warping himself around him as if he was going to protect him from everything. Xander freaked out, pushing away from Spike as hard as he could. Running away from the vampire like a good little human should.

Having one small taste of boy wasn't enough for him, he had to have him again, had to lick every inch of him to find out all the favors of Xander Harris. Spike let the boy go that night, he stayed at Buffy's and spent the night watching over the girl's sleeping. The First was still whispering words in his head but he was fighting hard not to listen. He didn't care if it drove him mad, he had seen mad with Dru, had tasted it. He could live with it.

The next night he went back to Xander, found him in the shower, hot water and stream framing him. Spike didn't even think about it he just shucked off his kit and slipped into the shower before Xander noticed him. (Sometimes it was fucking great to be a vampire.) The first touch of skin on skin was startling the warm wet on the cool un-dead skin. Xander jerked and twisted in Spike's arms.

“Spike?” The vampire could see past the horror in the boy's eyes, could see the lust that was trying to eat him whole. For the first time in all of his life Spike didn't have poems or words, didn't have away to whisper soothing words that he had learned over the years. No he just had an action that felt slow and painful to him, to Xander it was fast and sweet.

One moment the boy was going to protest the next they were kissing under the hot spray of water. Xander's hands were tight on his arms holding him instead of pushing him away. They break apart only when it became clear the boy needed air. Spike's hands weren't still, they mapped the boy's body trying to get it all down to memory.

The boy spoke between his teeth, the voice stressed still breathing hard from their shared passion, “Spike we can't do this.” Spike wanted to laugh, because there wasn't anything he couldn't do. This human was going to belong to him. His demon demand his rights, but the soul was there telling him he had to listen. He wasn't going to let Xander reject him however, not with out a bloody fight.

“Give me one good reason.”

“I'm not Buffy.” The boy's answer from the vampire was a hand around his sex and a lustful laugh in the whelp's ear. Was that the only reason the boy had for not letting Spike take him? For not letting himself feel this?

“I can see you're not, Pet.” The sounds that Harris made only brought more blood southward for Spike, he felt almost light headed with it. The smell of the boy's blood, the heat of the boy's cock in his hand was enough to drive him crazy where the First had failed.

“But you're..” Spike cut him off with another kiss, trying to prove himself that he wasn't here because Buffy turned him down. That he was here for this moment. That he was here because he wanted the man that the boy had become.

“Here.”Maybe it was enough to prove to the boy he wanted him or maybe it was the fact they were both male, hard, and horny but Xander stopped his protesting. The rest of the night was Spike trying to make the boy forget that there was an out side world. They both just gave into it all and let themselves become a mess of sweat and moans.

 

There bliss lasted all of a week until Buffy announced that she had a plan of how to get rid of the First. Spike always thought he would do something great, he already did by taking down the slayers he had. Yet, he knew there was something else that he would do. Dru would hint at it, teasing him with sly looks and whispered words in his ear just as he was drifting off to sleep. He didn't think it would be this, he didn't think he would be giving up something that this right to save the world.

Spike wasn't a hero. Xander didn't want him to be a hero. It was the only way, the only answer to the danger that put his boy towards safety. Spike knew he would be safe by taking Dawn away from the fight. With the child and his lover safe Spike would do anything to keep that true. Angelus would laugh to see him doing this, Dru would think him a kin to her own madness. Darla, she would have those disapproving eyes that still haunted him sometimes.  
~~xx~~

 

“I love you, Spike.”

Her eyes weren't filled with love nor was their pity, it was just sadness and the heat of the battle. Spike knew her words weren't true. She thought she was giving him what he wanted. For that he had to be a little grateful. Part of him wished that Xander was here to speak those words, Angelus was here to watch him be this brave. Would this make Angel proud to have him as a childe?

The sick little laugh that left his lips wasn't just for Buffy, “No you don't, go.. hurry before its too late.” He couldn't have her die beside him because she still had people to protect, people to teach now. All those slayers. He had helped the birth of slayers instead of cause the death of them. What a very twisted thing to do when you were a vampire.

The burning was worse then if there were four suns aimed at him. His soul was burning him from the inside out. His heart was beating with each painful pump and making the spell work. Spike was a hero, he was saving the world. It was true what they said your life flashes before your eyes.

He saw himself, William in his human years, saw him working to keep his mother healthy, to keep her well kept. Saw William falling in love with barely a glance at a woman who broke his heart with cruel words. Then the tears that made him blind to the dark Goddess waiting for him at the end of the street. The power of the dark love he felt for the vampires who became more of a family then his human had ever been.

The first time Angelus touched him, called him childe, the smiles of approval that he worked so hard to win from Darla. The laughs of delight that was music from Drusilla. The years that came after that, the screams of all those he killed, his own screams of pleasure and pain. He saw his time with Dru, his time in Sunnydale.

Then when the fire took hold, when he felt his soul being yanked hard from his body, he saw Xander's face as pleasure over took him. Heard his voice as he moaned, as he fought Spike. He relived it all as he became ash burning all the First's vampires.

Spike didn't cry, he didn't scream with the pain, he laughed as he died. He never thought he would live to see himself becoming a hero. The laughter turned to screams as he felt his soul yanked away from him.

Then there was nothing.

~~xx~~

“Spike?!”

There was nothing but the fire until the rush of cold wind over took him then sound of Angelus' voice invade his ears making him deaf with the only sound of it. When his eyes focused upon the man in front of him, of Angel in a bad suit. He found himself becoming confused by the sight before him. Was this hell or his idea of haven?

It sure the fuck didn't feel like haven. Then he didn't think a vampire who raped, killed, and feed for fun was often allowed to walk past those golden gates to glory. Even if he did give up his life to stop the greatest evil of all time. No, so this had to be hell, great, fuck, hell came with Angel in a bad suit.

“Spike?”

“Fuckin' hell, Peaches.”

-finn


End file.
